Why We Chose Peaceful Parenting

Why We Chose Peaceful Parenting

No Yelling Challenge: Day 4

Recently blogging mom of The Three Gerbers pointed out to me that there is a no yelling challenge happening over at The Orange Rhino that has been going on for quite some time before I started my challenge. I at times live in my own little bubble. She has some really good pointers that are worth checking out.

I decided to be a peaceful parent when my daughter was first diagnosed with Autism. I didn't decide because she has Autism. My decision was made because as we entered the world of therapy it was filled with behavioral intervention plans, many of which I was uncomfortable with.

I wanted a child that was free to explore her world, her way. While our family does use rewards and consequences, I personally did not like the frequency that the therapists wanted us to use them.

No Yelling Challenge: Day 1

No Yelling Challenge

Sorry it has taken me longer than expected to write this, my internet cannot handle a light rain. Have had the most shoddy service since Thursday. 

When I was thinking about guidelines for the three month no yell challenge one thing that has crossed my mind is tone of voice.

I know on my first day I often found myself replacing yelling with a disrespectful tone of voice. I think this is a fairly common response to frustrations.

I have always been very empathetic. As a child this was even stronger. I write from experience when I say it isn't always what you say, but, how you say it that matters.

The hubs on the other hand resorted to defensiveness. While by the end of the day he did yell, most often he talked over, interrupted, used sarcasm, or just plain out ignored what was going on to prevent himself from yelling. I think this is also a pretty common response.

Neither of those are healthy or the result I was hoping for.

It's Not About Me

It's Not About Me

Lately things in our house have been rough. My marriage is struggling. My daughter is quickly regressing. Stress is high and it has been wearing down all of us...

I promised myself a long time ago to not be one of those parents that yells, so sitting here writing that there has been a lot of yelling happening in my house lately is not something I can easily admit to.

It's hard not to yell when you are being yelled at.

It's hard not to yell when you watch something you have worked on all day be destroyed in 5 seconds flat.

It's hard not to yell when no one will listen to you when you talk.

It's just plain hard not to yell sometimes.

And it's pretty damn easy to make up excuses as to why it happens.

...Then I woke up to this and realized that the reason I decided four years ago to be a parent that does not yell had nothing to do with me. That being a parent is not about me.

Lessons from Livia

Lessons From Livia

I am beginning to think that October is our lucky month.

Four years ago in October my daughter started school. The enrollment process was five months from the time of her diagnosis.

Two years ago in October my daughter started using words and sentences I could understand. For the first time in her life she verbally interacted with me.

Last year in October my daughter potty trained. She was four, almost five and I was beginning to believe it would never happen. I was terrified that she would be the child in kindergarten that got made fun of.

And today...today was the greatest achievement in my mind. Today my daughter came home and told me about a friend she made at school. 

Frugal Fridays: Slimming the Excess

Frugal Friday: Slimming the Excess

Recently we covered budgeting basics. At this point you should already be on your way to tracking your spending and know which areas of your budget you are struggling in. If you are anything like my family, many of the areas where your budget may be pushing the line may not be in areas that can be easily modified. This then results in us taking money from other aspects of the budget to cover those costs...usually savings. Sound familiar?

Frugal Fridays: Budget Basics

Frugal Fridays: Budget Basics

Budgets...

Everyone hates them. Most people suck at them our government included. But, they are a necessity. If you are anything like me, if you don't track your money it disappears pennies at a time...A pack of gum here, a candy bar bribe to the kids, a pistachio muffin there, an overpriced beer at the bar...and then your wondering what the hell happened to your paycheck.

Frugal Fridays: Repair That Broken Piggy Bank

Frugal Fridays: Repair That Broken Piggy Bank

They say all great stories start with "Once Upon a Time"...

Once upon a time I was a single mom living off of $600 a month...this isn't sounding like an amazing story thus far.

$600 a month, a special needs child, and debt free. Part of it was an amazing support network. But, part of it was also looking for creative solutions.

I have gotten a lot of questions recently about frugal living and budgeting, so I will be doing a short series on how our family does it differently. It seems like it is easy to find blog posts out there telling you how to save money. And for the most part they all say the same thing, live within your budget. There are things that can be done though to make your budget fit your life.

A Book for Each Idea

A Book for Each Idea

Most mornings the alarm goes off and I find myself stumbling through breakfast and early morning traffic. It's a miracle my clothes are not covered in coffee spot designs. Having a child that does not sleep, and another who co-sleeps with us, weekends are usually not much different. Today though was a miracle. Today we all slept three hours past the alarm.

 And then chaos ensued.

 It wasn't the "oh shit!" scramble of mismatched socks and missing car keys, but, those groggy moments as you wake up children who definitely have had their batteries fully recharged. It was a pure miracle that we were dressed and had Saturday chores done by the time my daughter's weekly therapist showed up.